


Time

by UniversesAdrien



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bad Parenting, Cold Weather, Depression, Engagement, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Helping Each Other, Homophobia, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Scars, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15359868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniversesAdrien/pseuds/UniversesAdrien
Summary: DISCLAIMER: THIS IS JUST A STORY, IF SOMETHING TRIGGERS YOU, DO NOT READ. IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY NOR IS IT MEANT TO HURT NCT.They were both insanely broken and needed time to heal.Little did they know that the two would fall in love in the process.





	1. That Home

Love is such a complicated feeling. It can make you fall to your knees, not being able to stand up due to the pressure of that particular person. Although, it can make you feel like you're floating on the fluffiest clouds ever to exist.

_-December 15th, 2018-_

"Yuta, are you ready?" Taeyong asked, worry clouding his voice. Yuta didn't notice, though, he was in his little world.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, can you repeat that?" Yuta glanced at him; he knew that look all too well. Without a second later, Taeyong sighed heavily and mumbled quietly.

"I asked if you were ready... you know you've been very distracted lately, is something bothering you?" Although he didn't say a word, his actions said it all. Yuta stepped closer to the group's leader and hugged him gently as if he held him a bit tighter, he would break.

"I'm tired... I'm physically and mentally tired, Tae... I don't want to be here anymore..." They both stood there in silence. Since Taeyong didn't say a word, Yuta started to pull away. Not a second later, he was drawn back in with strong arms and thoughtful words dropping down to his ears.

"Yuta..." Taeyong couldn't believe his ears, this beautiful person standing in front of him, the person who had the brightest smile and happiest attitude, was broken down to his soul.

They stood there for it seemed like an eternity, but really, it was five minutes. Every second was spent on comforting Yuta. They ignored the calls of the eighteen members, ignored the stylists and managers because, at that moment, nothing else mattered.

"We should get going... but Yuta, I want you to move back in with me." Taeyong gently brought up his hand to wipe away the straying tear dripping down Yuta's cheek.

"Do you really think that's a good idea? Remember the last time we were roommates? It didn't necessarily end well, and we're totally different people!" He knows it didn't end well, but there's always room for second chances, no?

"It doesn't matter if we're not alike! I don't want you out of my sight, I care about you too much to let you go." Taeyong whispered the last part, he was afraid if he said it louder, it would've been heard.

Yuta sighed tiredly, how was he supposed to perform after this? He looked at the brown-headed man and bit his bottom lip, questioning every thought in his poor mind.

"Think about it, alright?" And with that, the leader gripped Yuta's hands and led him to the stage. Regardless of how angry the members were, a simple to glance at the rims of their eyes shut them all up.

"Ready?" Sicheng asked quietly, Yuta answered with a reassuring smile and patted his shoulder.

The performance went on as normal, despite the small session Yuta and Taeyong had. It was emotional, cringe-worthy, and exhausting, but well needed for the younger.

"Are you going to tell me why you were late?" Jaehyun stood at the entrance of the kitchen, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"He... was mad at me, but we talked through it and I offered a solution."

"That's such bull shit if he was mad at you, why would he be moving back in with you?" Jungwoo rubbed the exhaustion out of his eyes and went straight to the fridge to get water. He didn't notice the two pairs of eyes looking at him with surprise.

"He said yes?" Taeyong dropped the knife he was holding and walked over to him, pinning him against the sink.

"He went blabbing on about how risky it was, but was willing to." The tension between the two rose, the leader was beyond concerned about Yuta while Jungwoo was a bit scared of the people in front of him.

Jaehyun pealed Taeyong off, sending Jungwoo back to bed and promising he'll bring him his glass of water.

"What do you mean he's moving back in with you." He leaned back against the counter and waited patiently for him to respond, but Taeyong just went back to cutting the vegetables and meat he pulled out.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"What do you mean? Taeyong, you've been madly in love with him since he came into SM."

"I don't care." He had enough of this, Taeyong picked up the slashed veggies and began putting them away. He took note of what he had to do in the morning and tracked back to his room.

"Would you at least consider everyone's feelings here? Come on, this is so sudden and they're going to ask to move back and forth."

"They won't ask that, I'll just the manager to announce it. And why are you asking me this when you still haven't told me about Jungwoo?" He glared at Jaehyun, daring him to answer the question.

"There's nothing to say." Jaehyun gritted his teeth, irritated at the most ungodly hour. He trekked back to his room, but not before he grabbed a glass of ice-cold water for Jungwoo. The leader started to wonder about the two J's, and with that, he had the worst sleep he's ever had in years.

- _December 16th, 2018-_

The coming morning, the whole top floor had become overwhelmed with the delicious smells of breakfast. Everyone had gathered in the dining room meant for 9 people, but with a group twice that size, the maximum capacity meant nothing.

"What color are you dying it?" Sicheng asked Yuta, who was pondering what hair color he should dye his hair for the upcoming Christmas season.

"Maybe try going back to brown, it would be versatile for the comeback." Everyone turned to Taeyong, bewildered by that last few words.

"Comeback? Is Yuta going to be in NCT U?" Lucas asked but quickly shoved his mouth with food when he realized what he said.

"No, but apparently they want a song with all the foreign members. I don't know much about it, though. That's why I suggested brown, so he would be prepared, and also because I think he looks good in dark brown hair.." With his comment, the other members started conversations amongst themselves.

An hour after eating, Yuta and Taeyong began washing dishes while Jaehyun and Jungwoo cleaned the area. "Hey, about yesterday... I've thought about it and I think it's a good idea..." The Japanese man bit his lip, nervous about what the other's reaction might be.

Taeyong felt a flower blossom in his heart, he smiled and let out a long-awaited breath. "That's wonderful, Yuta, but why are you so nervous?" Yuta placed the clean dishes on the drying rack, thinking before responding.

"I don't know, honestly," Yuta said quietly as he felt a hand brushing his blonde hair away. Taeyong stepped closer to him, trapping him in the corner of the kitchen. He brushed his forehead against his and looked into Yuta's deep, brown eyes.

"You don't have to know..." Taeyong whispered to him. The Japanese man felt like crying, he was overwhelmed by this horrible emotion called love, and he thought the other didn't feel the same way, but he did.

"Why..." Yuta started, eyes not moving from Tae's, "Why do I feel so alone when I have so much?" Tears threatened to flow down his face, wanting to show how tense he felt. Taeyong smiled at him with reassurance and cupped his cheek, lips slightly touching his forehead.

"I don't know how to answer that, but what I do know, is that I'll be here when you need me, so whenever you feel alone, just come to me." The two hugged tightly, Yuta sobbing into his shoulder. He cried so hard, the members started to come out of their rooms to see him.

"Yuta, don't cry! I'm sure whatever it is, will be fixed soon!" Sicheng held his hand, slowly peeling him off of Taeyong. Yuta laughed, tears still flowing down his beautiful face.

"Yeah, don't cry! Or else, I'll have to fight you!" Lucas started to point at him accusingly, and at this point, Yuta felt a little better than before. One by one, people made him laugh and give his signature smile, but Taeyong stepped back and simply watched the scene unfold.

"Thank you." Yuta mouthed to him, grateful for the leader's words and affection.

They're both madly in love with each other but too imprisoned in their own world to notice. Although that was okay, they just need a little time.


	2. Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Year's Eve!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So I just started working on the next chapter for Why, I'm sorry it's taking long, I've just been having a bit of a writer's block. I also started my senior year so that's a bit exciting ;-; I hope you enjoy! Have a nice day!

- _December 31st, 2018-_

"Jaehyun, would you like some?" Jungwoo asked while holding up a glass of champagne. He smiled brightly at Jungwoo and accepted the bubbly drink, admiring the bunny-teethed boy in the process.

It was New Year's Eve, and everyone was excited to get the year over with finally. The 18 NCT members started to gather around in the studio, conversing among themselves and sipping either champagne or sparkling water.

"It's already going to be 2019, that's amazing," Jaehyun spoke against his glass. Jungwoo gave him a nervous glance, biting his lip oh so slightly. The two J's were anxious, but the real reason was hidden deep within their hearts.

"Should we do this?" Jungwoo whispered in his ear, lips phasing over it. Jaehyun shivered, but nodded and took his hand. Jaehyun took Jungwoo into the next room, which happened to be a smaller studio. 

No one minded them leaving some didn't even notice until the others told them. Jungwoo looked at the intertwined hands and smiled to himself. He didn't care where he was going, but the reality of him being with Jaehyun was incredible.

"Look at me, Jungwoo." Jungwoo glanced up at his words, his free hand reaching up to cup his pale cheek. He didn't care if people could walk in at any second, he cared about this beautiful person in front of him.

"Why are we here?" Jaehyun didn't answer, he simply smiled and left a tiny peck on the younger's hand. "Did you not want others to see that?" Jungwoo kept asking small questions, but all Jaehyun did was kiss his hand and cheeks.

"I wanted us to be alone, you know, in a place that's not our dorm." Jungwoo laughed lightly and linked his arms around Jaehyun's neck. He looked at him with eyes full of endearment, thinking about how this all started.

When Jungwoo first debuted, Jaehyun was overjoyed at the fact the person he loved the most could join him in his journey. People thought that Jaehyun would go for Doyoung or Johnny when it was Jungwoo that he went after. If you told 2013 Jaehyun about Jungwoo, he would laugh at your face and shake it off.

"What do you think is going on with Yuta and Taeyong?" Jungwoo asked him, Jaehyun started laughing and buried his face in his neck. "Hey! I'm serious! Come on, Jaehyun, I know you know something." Jaehyun raised his hands up in defense before going back to Jungwoo's waist.

"I'm sorry, my love, but they're whipped for each other," Jaehyun muttered against his neck. "How about we put on some music and dance for a bit? Before everyone realizes we're gone." Jungwoo giggles and smiles before placing a small kiss on Jaehyun's lips. They stay there for a moment, wrapped in each other arms, lips moving against each other.

Jungwoo peels away from Jaehyun and goes to his phone to put on the song they first ever danced together to: Frank Sinatra's It had to be you. He bit his lips lightly, weakly attempting to stop the smile from rising too much. At last, it couldn't be helped, he looked at Jaehyun and adjusted himself back into the position they both were.

"You have good taste, baby." Jaehyun hummed the tune quietly, gently swaying Jungwoo side to side. It was a beautiful moment between the two, something that could never be ruined, even the knock on the door.

"Hey, you two in there? It's almost midnight, and Taeyong wants us all to be together!" The voice indicated a curious Johnny just right outside the door. Jaehyun sighed and shouted back to him, disappointed that their moment ended quicker than he wanted.

Before opening the door, Jungwoo placed a kiss on Jaehyun's cheek. "May we meet again, Yoonoh." Jaehyun stood there, feeling a bit confused, no less, he shook his head and followed suit.

"... Okay, gather around! I just wanted to say something before we turn on the countdown." Taeyong yelled at the large group of curious members. He gazed at the 17 boys, Johnny, Tail, Renjun, Jungwoo, Lucas, Kun, Mark, Jeno, Jaemin, Jaehyun, Sicheng, Chenle, Ten, Jisung, Doyoung, Donghyuck, and lastly, Yuta, the most beautiful person in the world, in his opinion.

"This year has been one of the hardest yet, and it's going to get more difficult as time goes on. You all have been unbelievably patient and magnificent; if it weren't for every single one of you, I don't know how I could have stayed sane. Thank you all for everything, and I hope we have another great year. To NCT!" Everyone cheered and chuckled at their exhausted leader. They knew he worked hard and it was nice seeing him let go for a while.

"Let's turn on the countdown, everyone!" Jaemin exclaimed Jisung strutted over to the t.v and turned the channel to the news. It was right on time; one minute left until 2018 was over. The members crowded together, drinks were out and replaced with each others' hands.

"...12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Happy New Year's!" All of them cheered and jumped up and down, some EXO and Red Velvet members even came in to celebrate. They've all been through so much the past couple of months; it was truly insane.

Right then, all their worries flooded from their minds. All the heartbreak, exhaustion, injuries, were gone for that moment. What they wanted was right there, it was love and affection, it was hope and radiant smiles on their faces.

"Hey, Taeyong? Happy New Year's." Yuta said to him, voice mixed with those around him. Taeyong smiled and hugged the Japanese male, twirling him around slightly with a massive smile on his face. Jisung and Jeno laughed at their seniors and hoped it could stay like that for a while longer.

Across the room were Johnny and Ten close to each other, Mark finally letting Donghyuck give him affection, and Jaehyun and Jungwoo staring at one another fondly.

That night was magical compared to others; it was a vast space for people to enjoy themselves. Just that night alone brought unexpected pairings with each other. Not all can say that.

Taeyong thought about a quote he heard from Mark before and kept it in his mind since then. "Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a process; working together is a success," Taeyong whispered, not noticing that Mark was repeating the same words.


	3. Before You Exit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold me, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm still working on my other fic oof writer's block for that one sucks ;-; anyways, enjoy! Give me feedback or suggestions~ I can also take -some- requests.
> 
> Again, enjoy this chapter!

**TRIGGER WARNING!**

- _01:00, January 1st, 2019-_

An hour after midnight, people were still celebrating, friends still laughing with each other, lovers wrapped around each other, and crushes smiling nervously. It was a lengthy time to celebrate despite the heavy morning schedules.

"Have you ever thought about what happens after NCT?" Yuta and Taeyong had sat with each other, a bit far from the crowd of people conversing. Perplexed and shocked, he shook his head with no answer to give. Yuta smiled at him and giggled lightly. Yes, Nakamoto Yuta had just giggled at Lee Taeyong.

And it was stunning.

"I've never actually thought about it. I guess it was always to get married and have kids."

"Many people do that as they are idols, you can, too. The problem is, you don't exactly have time to meet someone." Yuta said quietly, looking at the groups of SM Entertainment. Taeyong sat there and started to think for a moment. It wasn't what Yuta said, but how he said it that made Taeyong slightly down.

"What if I already know who I want to be with?" Taeyong turned to him, hope glistering in his deep brown eyes. 

"Then be with them, take the risk..." Yuta trailed off as he stared off into space. He hoped Taeyong would someday be with him. Although in this world, things don't go that way, especially to the Japanese man.

The party lasted for another two hours, ending with a tired Mark carrying sleepy Jisung and a yawning Taeyong dragging Chenle to the Dream dorms. Yuta, on the other hand, took an alternate route. 

Yuta took a stroll around the area until he reached a small playground. Tears started to fall from his face, and his voice began to ache from not being able to breathe correctly. That room was so suffocating; he was drowning in the happiness of others, the cheers that started to fill his lungs little by little.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" He sat on the abandoned swings. He was the one that kept everyone happy, the one who kept people pleased because those frowns would cause dents in his fragile heart.

He looked up to see the beautiful bright moon. He loved looking at the night sky; it was exquisite in every way imaginable. The way the moonlight would strike the snow and outline the steps of the children. 

Yuta adored it, yet at the same time, he hated it.

The moonlight would also trace the features on his face, the scars on his arms, the river of sadness on his cheeks. That bittersweet lunar made him hold his hands to his chest and curl into a ball in the snow.

- _At the 127 dorms-_

"Sicheng, has Yuta arrived yet?" It's been a while since the eight members have gotten back, so Taeyong was massively concerned about the one missing member. He had asked all of them multiple times in the last hour with a trembling feeling buried intensely in his heart. Sicheng shook his head and gave the leader weary expression. 

Not being able to shake it off and ignoring the manager's orders, Taeyong put on his coat. He held a thermos filled with tea on his left while shining a flashlight with his right. The man may have an ice-cold look, but his heart was the complete opposite. All that mattered was finding Yuta before the blizzard came in; it was supposed to be the worst one considering the year just started.

"Yuta! Yuta! Where are you?!" 10 minutes became 30, then became an hour. Taeyong felt like he was getting frostbite and knew he had to go back soon.

Suddenly, he heard hushed sniffles coming from the playground. He started to walk towards it but was afraid that it might have been someone else or something else. Still, he inched closer until he poked the snow-covered jacket with his thermos.

"...Y-Yongie?" His voice was shattered, lips almost blue, hands starting to freeze at the fingertips. He was lucky to have found him on time; otherwise, he might have been too late.

"Come on, let's go back before the night gets colder." Taeyong attempted to pull Yuta up, but he didn't move a muscle. "Yuta, I'm serious. The storm is coming in fast!" Yuta still didn't move and mumbled little phrases, some between 'leave me here' and 'I want to suffer.' 

Taeyong gave up on trying to convince him. Instead, he hooked his arm under Yuta's skinny legs, giving Yuta his mug. His expression turned dark in the dreary night. The way back wasn't as bad for Yuta since he fell asleep on Taeyong's chest. It did start to snow, yet it seemed as the gods had answered his prayers and the worst didn't come until they got back.

"Kun, go run a hot bath. Taeil, go fix up some warm clothes for him. Doyoung put this in a pot and heat it back up. All three of you, be as quiet as you can. I don't want to wake up anyone else." He whispered, handing Doyoung the mug.

"Yuta, wake up. We're back home, okay? Kun is making up the bath for you, all you have to do is undress and slip in." Yuta nodded but didn't say a word. He hated people seeing him like this, all vulnerable and teary-eyed. 

"C-Can you leave or at least turnaround? I don't want you to see me..." Taeyong smiled and patted his cheek before leaving to the bathroom, checking the temperature and turning on the heater in the bedrooms. He trekked back to the door and placed his hand on the doorknob. Should he open it? No, it would be invading his privacy! He wanted to know, though, and it took a slap to his face from his hand to shut his brain up.

Yuta began to undress, shivering at the warm air flooding in. As he took off his shirt, he traced the small scars that covered his waist. Usually, he would put makeup to cover them, although this time he didn't. It was winter, and he rarely wore short sleeve and flowy shirts. It was mostly sweaters and long sleeve shirts that took over his wardrobe this time of year.

"If I'm going to at least try, then I need to tell someone. At least, that's what I've read... Enable to get better; you need to let people be by your side..." Yuta bit his bottom lip, hand on the doorknob and forehead pressed against the wood. "Taeyong, I know you're there."

"Don't do that again, please... Promise me, Yuukuri." Taeyong's voice quivered in restlessness. The bags under his eyes increase. He was exhausted and cold, yet he still had the strength to be as worried as Jisung before his exams.

"I can't promise you anything, Yongie, but I can try my best." Yuta could hear Taeyong's chuckles through the door, also listening to a tiny sob.

Taeil, Kun, and Doyoung watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes. They looked at each other and shrugged before leaving to their beds.

The ground was covered in snow, sky overwhelmed by frozen clouds, and hearts filled with confusing emotions.


	4. It's Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just breathe with me and we'll be alright!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing a lot, it's been keeping me busy oof- well hope you all enjoy this chapter! I don't think I'll entirely add the three new SM Rookies until they debut, I don't know, I'm just waiting until I know more about them. For now, I might keep it at 18 members.

- _03:00, January 1st, 2019-_

A few hours later, in the middle of the night, the 127 members heard a loud knock on their door. People started to come out of their rooms, rubbing their eyes, still half asleep and waited for their leader to open it.

Taeyong finally came out with a huge yawn overcoming his mouth. He looked around the room and counted one by one before opening the door.

It was a cop.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Johnny's face furrowed and saw the cop move aside for the Dream and U members to come in. Taeyong was overwhelmed with nervousness and panic. Why are the kids up at this time of night? And why is a cop standing in front of him?

"You're Lee Taeyong, right? In charge of these kids?" Taeyong nodded quickly, "There's been an accident that involved some teenagers. It seems like some of your members saw it, and we're just placing them here for protection. Also, I advise you not to go outside until the roads are clear, most of the entrances have been blocked anyway."

"Thank you, officer. I'll call you if anything comes up." The officer nodded before he closed the door and stared at the Dreamies. He began thinking of what to say, but all that came to mind was what the hell happened.

"Tell me what went on, and why you are awake at 3 am, knowing full you have a busy schedule?" Mark glanced at them with his arms crossed. He felt guilty and wanted to tell Taeyong to lay off, but again, it was 3 am, and they were all dead tired.

Neither of them answered. The boys looked too scared to answer.  **Is my voice too rough or are they just shaken up,** Taeyong thought to himself. On the other side of the living room, Jaehyun was rubbing his face with his hands, lightly slapping his cheeks to wake up a little.

"It's alright if you don't want to talk about it, but we have to talk about room assignments. I mean, there are 18 people in this room right now and what, seven beds?" Taeil said.

"How about this, let's pair up and if two can fit in a bed, try. Otherwise, we'll get the mattresses from the other dorms and lay them down on the ground. Let's have some more awake people to go over, no one under 18."

"This is over the top, don't you think? We can go back to our dorms and lay on the floor there, no need to get all cramped here." Jisung was the first of the Dream kids to speak up. Yuta glanced over and shook his head. It was terrible to argue with Taeyong when the man was exhausted.

Everyone stood there silently.

That is until Lucas spoke.

"That sounds like a great idea! It would be like a giant sleepover! It'll be fun, right, Jungwoo? We can bond, play games, eat snacks, drink some hot chocolate or tea, let's do it!" Jaemin smiled at Lucas and nodded excitedly. Jisung eventually gave in and went with Chenle to find a comfortable room. Renjun dragged Jaemin with him while Jeno helped Kun and Taeyong organize the beds.

"We can put Jaehyun with Doyoung and Sicheng, maybe Kun with Ten and Youngho." The three mumbled amongst themselves. Taeyong held a diagram of the dorm and wrote down names on the side of the paper.

"Hey, Taeyong, can I speak to you in private? I swear, it's swift." Jaehyun places his hand on his shoulder, his eyes holding slight concern.

"Yeah, of course. We'll finish this later, right now, assist anyone that needs it." Not a moment after, Taeil and Kun set down the pad. Taeyong led Jaehyun in the kitchen before wondering why Jung Yoonoh needed to speak to him.

"What happened with Yuta last night? I heard from Johnny that he disappeared for an hour or something like that?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, it was just a simple mishap. Jaehyun's lips tightened into a fine line. He knew when Taeyong was lying and Taeyong knew he did, so why was he lying? Why wasn't Yongie telling the truth?

Taeyong gulped and bit his lip, anticipating for Jaehyun to call him out on his bullshit of an excuse. But Jaehyun didn't say a word. He sighed and went to Jungwoo, not waiting a single second to hiss at Taeyong.

Taeyong rolled his eyes at him before going back to the diagram. He decided just to let everyone choose where they were going to sleep, sure it was going to be a mess, but he could care less at now 4 am.

- _09:00-_

It was a quiet morning, birds chirping, vents blowing warm air into the rooms, the dorm filled with savory aromas.

"No, listen, Naruto is way better. End of conversation."

"No way! Bleach is top dog!"

 **So much for a quiet morning,**  Taeyong thought to himself. Yuta had woken up earlier than expected, arguing with Sicheng. Taeyong wishes they could direct that energy to other places.

"What are you two fighting about now?" Taeyong asked as he started gathering ingredients for traditional Chinese breakfast. He rarely cooked these types of food, so getting recipes from Kun and Chenle helped immensely.

"Yuta said Naruto is better than Bleach!" Taeyong snickered, measuring how many cups of rice he needed to put in the rice cooker since he was now cooking for 18 people.

"It's true! I have nothing against Bleach, but come on, against Naruto, way better." Sicheng scoffed and shook his head. The boy still had a significant bedhead so him shaking his head was hilarious.

Yuta smiled brightly and looked over Taeyongs shoulder, he snuck his arm around his shoulder and mumbled something only the two of them could hear.

"Can I make tamagoyaki?" Taeyong sighed in relief; he thought Yuta was going to say something serious. He nodded and motioned him to the fridge and pans. Alas, Yuta got what he was looking for and started stirring mirin, salt, eggs, sugar, and soy sauce together. He placed the rectangular pan on the stove, next to where Taeyong's pots were.

Sicheng watched Yuta and Taeyong stand next to each other and analyzed their subtle glances towards each other. Happily and quickly, he snapped a photo of the two cooking side by side. Yuta rarely cooked, and when he did, they were delicious and simple Japanese dishes.

Taeyong reached past Yuta's head to grab a spice from the cabinet and touched Yuta's forehead. Immediately, he stopped cooking and checked his temperature.

"You have a fever! You need to rest!" Taeyong said, frantically sending Sicheng to get medicine.

"I feel fine, and I just wanted to spend some time with you..." Yuta chewed his bottom lip as if it wasn't bitten enough already. Taeyong pulled his hand away from his forehead, giving him a soft and worried expression. His lips twitched into a smile and patted his cheek.

"You should have told me you wanted to; I would have been with you. You can continue staying here, but promise me that you'll take the rest of the day off." Yuta nodded, taking shy steps back to the pan. He rolled the eggs up and poured more.

- _10:00-_

"Jungwoo, you're awake- wait is that- is that a  **hickey**?!" Yuta said a bit too loud. Jungwoo, being the sleepy snoopy he is, unconsciously nodded and trailed to the kitchen. It didn't take long before he realized what he had done.

"Oh no, oh no, no, no, no! He's so dead!" Jungwoo whisper-shouted to himself. He quickly covered the spot with his hand and laughed nervously, "I'm kidding, Yuta, I just hit myself in my sleep!" The innocent facade Jungwoo made had rapidly deteriorated in both Yuta's and Taeyong's heads.

Speaking of Taeyong, he was standing by the stove with bowls and plates full of food ready to be placed on the table.

"What is that Kun? Do you need help? Okay, I'm coming!" Jungwoo ran back to his temporary shared room and hid underneath the covers. Tears were threatening to fall until Jaehyun patted his blanket-covered arm.

"Honey, are you okay?" Jungwoo shook his head rapidly and hid his red face from his boyfriend. Jaehyun pouted slightly; he noticed his snoopy's tense figure. Jungwoo continued to be silent but eventually uncovered himself. As soon as he revealed his red face and the purple hickey on his neck, he knew somewhat of the situation.

Jaehyun hissed before speaking, "Oh no, did they see it? I pushed it too much, didn't I?" Jungwoo nodded, pulling him into the bed and hugging him gently.

"I didn't know what to say, so I just said I hit myself in my sleep! Who would believe that?" Jungwoo groaned. The man was beyond embarrassed at this point. A stressed sigh escaped from Jungwoo's lips, only to be caught by Jaehyun's own being pressed against his.

"It's going to be okay, knowing Taeyong, he won't say anything, and Yuta is an excellent secret keeper. Don't worry; we're in good hands." Jaehyun whispered. Jungwoo slowly relaxed against him and cupped his cheek. They laid there for it seemed like an eternity, and listened to Louis Armstrong play from Jaehyun's phone.

Ten minutes later, Taeyong's voice rang through the dorm, alerting everyone to gather in the dining room for breakfast. Eyes met by a cloudy morning and noses overwhelmed by Yam Cha, Dim Sum, Zongzi, Tofu Pudding, Congee, buns, and much more. The Chinese members squealed in excitement as they saw the food that reminded them of their homeland.

Breakfast drowned by conversations and arguments about what was the best anime, what drama should they watch, how could they spend the day indoors, and what to make for lunch and dinner.

The rest of the morning was somewhat peaceful. Instead of rushing to get ready, some of the members went back to bed, some played games, some read books, some drew, and some wrote random things. 

It was a beautiful day.

At last, they got some well-needed rest.

- _January 5th, 2018-_

"Okay, let's take it from the top!" It had been four days after the snowstorm and 'accident,' as much as they wished for another day of rest, they had work to do.

They were all practicing for their comeback in February; it turned out that all the foreign members were going to get a song together as NCT U, not a unit, as NCT China was going to be the new unit.

"I have a question. This is NCT U, right? And NCT China's comeback is after Super Junior's? Oops, that was two questions." Ten asked eagerly, stretching out his muscles before going back to his position.

The choreographer nodded before saying, "Yes," to both questions. Johnny shrugged at the Thai boy and patted his upper arm. In the next room, EXO's Sehun, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Yixing, sat with Doyoung, Taeil, Jaemin, Jisung, Jeno, and Donghyuck.

"You guys have some great vocals, like Donghyuck, you have a unique voice, and you can use that to your advantage!" Baekhyun exclaimed. NCT's seniors had stopped by for quick hello, but got distracted and conversed with the boys for hours.

"T-Thank you, and I will!" Donghyuck's face was hot enough to cook an egg; being complimented by someone you admired the most was an insane feeling to get.

"Yeah, and you guys all have excellent dancing skills. I want to learn how to dance your songs if you would teach me." Yixing said as Jisung's, and Jeno's eyes became bright with excitement, so much that they almost couldn't contain it.

Before anyone knew, the next two hours were spent with teaching, practicing, and singing with EXO. Along the way, Taeyong came through the door and followed by the rest of the members. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and boy, did they squeeze every ounce of it out. When EXO left, Taeyong started to quiet down his group. He noticed the tired faces and sweaty figures of every single person and decided that it was time to make the announcement.

"I have an announcement, and I need you all to be calm and patient about this. I just came back from meeting with our boss, and it turns out might be adding three new members to NCT. They might be debuting with NCT China, but I don't know anything past that. They have also told me that I am now the official leader of NCT as a whole, not just 127." Taeyong's voice began to quiver at the end of his speech. He was supposed to be excited, but now he was just flat out agitated, to be a leader of 18+ people? S.Coups handled 12 others, Junmyeon and Yi Fan felt 11 before three left and even then does Junmyeon handle 8; that's still a lot!

"Congratulations, TY!" One by one, each member gave him a huge hug. Although, there was only one person that noticed the pained look on Taeyong's face.

"It's going to be okay, Yongie. You won't be alone." Yuta whispered in his ear. Taeyong swallowed the knot in his throat and smiled against his pale neck. He held him a bit tighter before letting him go off to the others.

"Are they that blind?" Ten asked Johnny, whispering so no one else would hear them.

"They are, just leave them be, for now, they'll figure it out later," Johnny answered and helped stretch Mark's back.

"We should celebrate! Let's go get food after this!" Lucas said, clapping his hands together and jumping up and down. Mark agreed with Lucas, causing Donghyuck, to accept as well. Taeyong later decided that they would take the time to celebrate, but first, they had to rehearse.


	5. Just Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's try together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing so much lately. I'm just very stressed at the moment so writing is making me sane! Anyway, enjoy the chapter and the next chapter for Why is almost finished, finally.
> 
> Also, I will reply to every comment, but besides that, I just love reading what you guys think of it, so keep commenting if you want! I really appreciate it all!
> 
> Enjoy!

- _06:00, January 1st, 2019, Flashback-_

"...Kun? Kunnie, wake up!" Sicheng said as he softly patted his cheek. It was Kun's birthday, and no way did Sicheng let the opportunity of making it first slide. A few seconds later, Kun started to stir awake; a bit annoyed that he was woken up at an ungodly hour and on their day off.

"W-What? Sicheng? What are you doing up?" Sicheng giggled quietly and hushed him. He held Kun's hand and led him outside the dorm, but not the building entirely.

"Close your eyes," Sicheng said excitedly. Sighing, Kun followed his instructions. "Okay, now hold out your hands." Sicheng quickly went back inside the dorm and grabbed the small wrapped gift he had gotten for him months earlier.

"Whoa, whoa, what is that?" He started to fidget around, almost dropping the gift Sicheng had made.

"Don't drop it! You can open your eyes now!" Sicheng bit his lip nervously and watched Kun open the box carefully. Kun's eyes started to light up like the sun in the sky. The younger felt satisfied with Kun's reaction, "Happy birthday!"

"Winwinnie, I love it! It's lovely, thank you!" Kun smiled brightly at Sicheng, giving him a tight hug with the gift still in his hand. They stayed in that position for a while before letting go, and at that point, Sicheng had become a blushing mess. Kun reached up and ruffled his hair playfully while chuckling.

"W-We should go back inside!" The pretty present Sicheng had given him was a locket that contained a picture of not only his parents but the members of NCT as well. It was a pretty big locket; Kun didn't mind, though. Any present from Sicheng was a present he would cherish for years on end.

- _21:00, January 11th, 2019-_

This day, most members came back early. Doyoung was still an MC, Jaehyun and Johnny were doing their radio show, but they should have finished by now. Still, it was quite early.

Yuta came back from recording their new song; he had another schedule at 00:30 so he decided to go home and take a nap. Poor soul couldn't sleep, his mind was racing millions of miles an hour, and one thing started to stick in that race: Taeyong.

"Why can't I get you out of my mind?" Yuta whispered. Lee Taeyong, the melon-loving perfectionist that despised dust with his very existence. TY Track, who danced and rapped his heart out every day. Yeah, that Lee Taeyong, and wow did Nakamoto Yuta love him.

"Can't get who out of your mind?" Yuta jumped at the voice that crept behind, causing him to fall off the couch with a loud thump. He held his hand to his heart and made sure he didn't just die from a heart attack. Once Yuta looked to where the voice came from, he didn't spare a second to hit the perpetrator with a pillow.

"Damn it, Taeil! You scared the absolute crap out of me!" Yuta scowled.

"I'm sorry, but I was curious, and you haven't exactly talked to me lately." As much as he denied it, Taeil was right. He was distant from people, and no one knew why.

"It's nothing important, don't worry about it. My mind has just been all over the place, and I can't help but think." Gently and slowly, he sat next to Yuta with an open heart. He wasn't the leader, but he was the oldest. He cared for all of these boys like they were his brothers.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to me about this person you can't get out of your mind?" Yuta shook his head, and instead of fleeing to his room like he usually did, he laid his head down on Taeil's lap. The oldest member smiled and started stroking Yuta's hair. The group knew that whenever Yuta felt stressed, he loved his hair brushed; it was a comforting feeling for him.

Before Yuta knew, it was already 23:00 and he was left to sleep on the giant couch. He got up and winced at the pain in his neck; he fell asleep on a pillow.

He looked around the darkened room and spotted a figure on the chair next to him. It took Yuta a while before he realized it was no other than the person who stuck in his brain. He looked tired and sweaty, which was weird for Taeyong. Usually, he would take off his makeup and take a shower when he got home.

"Oh, Tae..." Yuta whispered to himself. Little did he know, Taeyong was wide awake and had just been spending the last hour staring up at the ceiling.

"Yes, Yuukuri?" Again, the poor baby's heart jumped out of his chest, "I didn't mean to scare you, I can't get myself to my room. I feel a bit numb, honestly." Taeyong's voice was quivering slightly, and even though Yuta couldn't see his face, he could tell Taeyong was on the verge of crying.

Yuta didn't know what came over him at that exact moment, but he stood from the couch and walked over to him. Carefully, he pulled Taeyong's face to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. It was Taeyong's turn to cry now.

"I-I can't do this alone! It's so hard; I don't know what to do anymore!" Yuta stayed quiet, letting Taeyong go on and hug his waist close, "I feel like I can't breathe, too. A-All day, I've been practicing with U then going to check on Dream, then back to China, too! I haven't eaten, I didn't get a chance to brush my teeth or-" Yuta thought for a second and cut him right off. Taeyong always washes his hands or uses hand sanitizer right after he meets a person.

"Hold on, show me your hands." Yuta cupped Taeyong's tear-stained cheeks and looked straight into his eyes. He looked away from the other's worried eyes, but held his hands and looked away in shame, "Look at me, Taeyong, don't be ashamed, okay?"

When Yuta looked at his hands, they were dry, and in some places, they were bleeding because of the over washing. He was warned before to carry lotion and use it. Although, now that his schedule became packed to the brim, he didn't have time to use it at all.

"Oh, Taeyong..." Taeyong looked back at him with eyes full of fear, expecting a lengthy scolding, but all he got was a tighter hold on him. Yuta tackled him down and gave a soft kiss on his forehead before cupping his cheeks once again, "I'm not going to yell at you because none of this is your fault. The managers know about your phobia of germs and limits as a person. They're just mistreating you, sweetie." For a minute, the nickname made Taeyong smile lightly.

"Thank you... I can't thank you enough, Yuta..." They both gave a small grin and stayed in that position for a while, tangled in each other's arms. Cautiously, Taeyong peeled Yuta's hands off his neck and brought them down to his lips. He pecked each with such love it almost made Yuta in the same state Taeyong was. He then kissed his cheek, sniffing and wiping his tears away. 

They needed to breathe; one little breath, one small hug that could save them from insanity.

Or was it just a touch of their lips?


	6. I Love-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just confess already!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you like the chapter!
> 
> All rights reserved to the song's original owners, I don't own The Scientist by Coldplay or NCT.

- _15:00, February 21st, 2019-_

"Don't you think it's funny when we fall in love, it's with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time?" It was Taeyong again, speaking nonsense. A couple of birthdays have passed, kisses between lovers shared, and he has yet to get his shit together about Yuta.

"Lee Taeyong, are you high, right now? And if you are, can I get in on it, too?" Jaehyun said, playfully. For the past 10 minutes, Taeyong had been talking to himself. Jaehyun and Jungwoo, being the confused people they are, watched him slowly go crazy. 

After all, it was just another day in the NCT dorms. 

"Babe, don't say that! What if he's going through something bad?" At this point, neither of them cared whether Taeyong heard them or not.

"What do I do about Yuta? I mean, you guys are a couple, even though I have no idea how it happened because last time I asked Jaehyun, he got mad as hell. Every time I'm with him, my mind just kind of slips! He's so, how do I say it, beautiful? Magical? Phenomenal?" Taeyong said, standing up and throwing his hands up in the air, "I don't know, but I... I love him... I don't know how to say it to him... Especially since he's not exactly in a good place." He looked down to his feet before sighing in disappointment when the couple didn't say a word.

"Taeyong, I didn't know you felt so strongly about him. I think you should tell him, regardless of the consequences. Aside from having a crush on him, you guys have been friends for the longest time." Jungwoo stood from sitting next to his boyfriend and patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"I wish I could, but every time I attempt to, my brain starts to feel like mush and my heart turns into a whirlpool." Lately, it's been getting harder to be around Yuta. The pain and love they've felt for each other were beginning to get overwhelming, and neither of them knew how to deal with it.

"Tae... All I can say is to try to do it soon before it's too late and you're both a complete mess." Jaehyun was right. These days, Taeyong has noticed the Japanese male getting worse, health-wise; he wasn't eating well, he slept less, and was barely smiling.

He hated it.

"Fuck..."

"Maybe we should leave..." Jaehyun whispered. He gently took Jungwoo's hand then left the large dressing room. Taeyong felt a little betrayed at first but heard the two send Yuta to him. There are times when people need to bring the animals to the water, you can't force them to drink it, but you can at least guide them. That's what it felt to the couple, if they at least guided them together, something would hopefully spark.

"Hey, Yongie. What's up? They said you needed to talk to me about something?" He didn't know how, but Taeyong suddenly got the strength to hug him tightly, wrapping his arms around his small waist while burying his face in Yuta's neck.

Startled and disoriented, Yuta patted his back lightly, as if asking him for an explanation. He didn't say a single word, though, he speechlessly held him but loosened his grasp just a tiny hair.

All Taeyong wanted was for the world to stop, even if it was just for a single second. For one piece of time, he didn't want to be a leader, rapper, dancer, songwriter, singer, a person. He didn't want to be known around the world, on the internet, in the government's records. He didn't want to exist. Although, what he needed, was this person right in front of him.

Nakamoto Yuta, the magnificent human being who he desperately loved more than himself.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Yukkuri..." Yuta glanced at him, genuinely concerned for the latter. He wondered if Taeyong had slept, or if he even ate a decent meal.

"What are you talking about, Yongie? Taeyong, are you okay?" He didn't know what came over him, but Taeyong gently held Yuta's chin and tilted it towards his face. They went silent for a while after. It was just the two of them, faces as close as sand and water.

Swallowing harshly, Yuta closed the gap between them. The moment was short but sweet; it was like the universe around them didn't exist. 

At last, both were together, tears were forgotten, nerves shook away, and warmth spread.

Yuta peeled his lips away and smiled fondly at Taeyong. The other had no idea what to do; he was just so painstakingly beautiful that it was impossible not to be breathless when you glanced at him.

"I've wanted to do that for so long. I guess it just took two noisy as fuck people to push me along," Yuta laughed quietly and let Taeyong continue. "I don't deserve you, Yuta. You're so amazing and gorgeous; I'm taken away every single time I even think about you."

As Taeyong poured his feelings out, a third of NCT peeked into the room and listened in on the conversation.

"Lucas, shut your face! They're going to hear us!" Renjun whispered and threw a sweaty towel at his head in the meantime. Doyoung and Johnny chuckled but were quickly shut up when Kun glared at them.

"Has anyone seen Jaehyun? He was just with me, but now I can't find him anywhere," Mark said as he tugged Jeno's arm for help. "I just need some help with something; it's about Donghyuk." The last part of Mark's sentence came out as a tiny whisper. Jeno shrugged his shoulders up, confused at where the 22-year-old would be.

"Maybe he's with Doyoung- no wait, he's right here. Well, Jungwoo isn't here, and Chenle isn't, check with them." And so Mark did, he checked Chenle first, which was ridiculous because he knew the boy would be curled up in a ball next to Jisung.

"He curled up like this a while ago," Jisung said plainly.

"Yeah, I know. Have you seen Jaehyun? I need to talk to him about something." Jisung simply shook his head and immersed himself in his phone.

Donghyuk had always been an affectionate person, but Mark was the complete opposite. Take in mind that he  _was_  tender. For a while now, Mark has felt this flower called love, blooming in his heart. He was shocked, but it was just for a small amount of time. Mark always thought he would fall for someone who was a woman and was a calm being.

How could Mark be so wrong about that?

"Mark! Come with me to check out Jaehyun and Taeil! They're doing a cover of The Scientist!" Donghyuk exclaimed happily. He smiled brightly and held Mark's hand, dragging him to one of NCT's main dressing rooms. Mark let him pull at him; he was too starstruck by how amazing the other looked that he also forgot how to breathe.

Steadily, the room started to fill up with people. From the NCT members to the staff and even other idols from SM.

"Hi, everyone! I'm Jaehyun, and this is Taeil. We hope you like our singing, we've practiced this and wanted to share it with you all." Jaehyun and Taeil cleared their throats and motioned Jeno to start playing the song that originated from Coldplay.

 _Come up to meet you_  
Tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you  
Tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart  

As Jaehyun's voice rang through the room, Mark noticed Donghyuk's hand hanging loosely next to his. Mark inched his hand, specifically his pink, and linked them together. He looked away so fast; he didn't notice the shocked expression on Donghyuk's face.

 _Tell me your secrets_  
And ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start  
Running in circles, coming up tails  
Heads on a science apart  

Taeyong bit his lip slightly and held Yuta closer when Taeil started singing along with Jaehyun. Yuta couldn't help but to smile and whisper sweet nothings in Taeyong's ear.

As the song continued, everyone started to sway to the beat; everyone, but Jungwoo. He stood there and watched Jung Yoonoh sing his heart out. Jungwoo held his hands close to his beating heart, resisting the urge to run over and kiss him.

 _Nobody said it was easy_  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start

Taeil looked at the ground and hid his flustered expression from the crowd in front of him. He regularly performed in front of a larger group, so why was he nervous this time?

"Taeil, that was beautiful!" Johnny said, jumping out of his seat to compliment Taeil. Taeil laughed out of embarrassment and quickly shook his head.

He might have just found his reason.


	7. Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For once, they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a tough couple of week, honestly. I hope you guys like the chapter, though! It's longer than I usually write but so worth it. Tell me what you think!
> 
> Enjoy!

- _05:00-_

Despite having a beautiful night, Yuta still had nightmares. He jolted awake and quickly pulled away from Taeyong's grasp. Luckily for Yuta, Taeyong was a heavy sleeper and didn't notice him sneaking off to the bathroom.

"It's okay; it's going to be okay, Yuta. Just breathe, no one is going to hurt you, no one here will ever hurt you. You're going to be okay." Yuta whispered to himself. He curled up into a ball and sat in the corner of the bathroom, listening to every snore the members made. He shook his head and splashed his face with cold water. He bit back the tears and slapped his cheeks violently.

"You can do this. Just go back to bed, and you'll be okay-" Yuta meant to finish his self-motivating speech, but was cut off by a text from a certain ex.

It read: ** _Watch out, Yuta. I'm coming to get you, and when I do, you better be ready for a fucking beating._** His breath hitched, mouth going dry and palms getting sweaty. Yuta shut off his phone and shuffled back to Taeyong. He hid his face in his pillow and sobbed quietly. 

Half an hour later, Taeyong woke up feeling cold; it took him a second to come into terms that Yuta stole the rest of the blankets.

"Yuta, babe, it's time to get up. We have a schedule today." While he loved staying with him, he also needed his job. It usually took Yuta a while to get up, so Taeyong didn't find it suspicious when Yuta was still in bed 5 minutes later.

Taeyong yawned tiredly and greeted the half-asleep members in the kitchen.

"What do we have to do today? I know Jaehyun, and I have NCT Night Night but what's going on during the day?" Johnny asked as he sipped his tea. Despite having little sleep, Seo Youngho didn't like drinking coffee as soon as he woke up.

"Well I think the recording of the new album for the foreign members is today, and then the China line has to go rehearse plus NCT DREAM needs to go rehearse." He poured the same tea Johnny had into a cup, taking a sip before leaning back against the counter, next to Johnny.

"Has Yuta not gotten up yet? He's usually the first to get here." Taeyong shrugged and started to think about it. Why hadn't he gotten up yet? Was he not feeling well? Did he have too much to drink? Did he even drink? Questions started to spill into Taeyong's mind, just like his tea dropped onto his redshirt. 

"Hey, can you go wake up the rest of the members? Make sure they get ready, okay? I'll handle Yuta." Johnny nodded and set his empty cup into the sink. He trailed back to drag the lazy bums out of bed and into the car. 

"Yuta? Do you not feel well?" Taeyong asked worriedly, "We have to get to the studio, specifically you." Taeyong's soft smile started to fade as he took the covers away from his lover's face. 

"I'll get up, just don't ask me any questions." Taeyong's mouth opened but closed a second after. Yuta sat up, eyes half open, body shivering from the sudden cold breeze. Taeyong didn't say a thing, as Yuta wanted, but he did hug him close. Taeyong wrapped his arms around Yuta's waist, bringing Yuta's head to his chest.

"Get ready, okay? We have a schedule today, and I don't want you to get scolded." Yuta nodded slightly before pulling away from Taeyong's grasp. Taeyong wondered what shifted inside him. Regardless, he was just glad that Yuta was next to him that night.

- _23:00, February 24th, 2019-_

"Hey Taeyong, can I talk to you and Mark in private?" Jaehyun asked from the kitchen. He was currently making hot chocolate for everyone, except for some in the U dorms since they were out for the day. Taeyong and Mark got up from their seats, complaining since Donghyuck was next to Mark as well as Yuta cuddling with Taeyong.

"This better be good Jung Yoonoh," Mark warned, eyebrows furrowed in frustration and confusion. Taeyong was quiet but still annoyed like Mark.

"I'm sorry to bother you guys, but I have a bit of a problem," Jaehyun bit his lip harshly and turned off the pot of milk on the stove, not wanting it to burn. For a second, Taeyong thought it was about the hot chocolate, but Jaehyun's expression said otherwise.

"What do you mean? Is everything going okay with you and Jungwoo?" Mark whispered the last part, not wanting the rest of the members to be worried. Jaehyun nodded quickly, trying to get out his sentence, but he was stuck.

"Jaehyun, are you okay?" Taeyong asked worriedly, his eyes darted from Jaehyun to Mark, silently asking what was wrong. Taeyong bit his lip, in all his years of knowing Jaehyun, he has never seen him so nervous. Mark placed a hand on Jaehyun's arm, comforting him and urging him to take his time to speak.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He paid close attention to his breathing and brought his hands up to his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Taeyong was now more concerned than ever, but before he could say anything, Jaehyun finally started speaking.

"I know Korea has its beliefs on same-sex marriage and I know the risks if I do this. I'm going to ask Jungwoo to marry me, even though it won't be legal here or accepted in society in general, but I'm going to do it. I love him, and I want to show him how much it means to me. I need you guys to help me if you're up to it." Jaehyun spoke with confidence, eyes welling up with tears. It took both Taeyong and Mark a second to realize what Jaehyun just said. They never thought in a million years that Jaehyun would propose.

Not knowing what to say, Taeyong leaned forward and hugged Jaehyun tightly. His smile so full it started to hurt. Jaehyun chuckled and hugged him back. He looked at Mark, waiting for a response. Mark grinned and joined the embrace. They all looked ridiculous, crying and laughing, makeup smudged and in pajamas.

"Of course we'll help you, you dumbass. Did you pick out a ring yet?" Taeyong asked excitedly as he and Mark pulled away from the emotional hug. Jaehyun nodded and looked around to make sure no one was watching them. He pulled out a small box from his pocket and showed Taeyong the ring his mother gave him when he became an idol. Jaehyun remembers his mother's specific instructions.

**_'Give it to someone you love the most, and when you do, tell me because I would love to meet them.'_ **

"Oh my - Jaehyun, this is beautiful, where did you get this." Mark gasped when he saw the ring meant for Jungwoo.

"My mother gave it to me, she told me to give it to someone I love the most and when I do, tell her because she wants to meet them. I'm scared, guys, what if he says no?" Jaehyun shut the velvet box and put it back into his pant pocket.

"He won't say no, Jae. Whenever he looks at you, he looks like he just discovered fire something amazing. He loves you, Yoonoh. Don't worry; this will go just fine, trust me." Taeyong gripped Jaehyun's shoulders and patted his head, trying to calm him down a little. Jaehyun smiled once again, showing his iconic dimples.

"Thank you both, I guess we have to start making a plan now, huh?" Mark rolled his eyes playfully and started to think about ideas to make Jaehyun's plan the greatest it can be. They stood there talking for a while more before going back to their loved ones. 

Donghyuck smiled at Mark, waving him over. Yuta was half asleep but was happy when Taeyong laid back down with him. And Jungwoo? He looked at Jaehyun with the most loving expression he could muster. He didn't know what Jaehyun had planned and that was perfect.

"What was that about, babe?" Jungwoo whispered to Jaehyun. He didn't want to disturb the others, so he asked him in a quiet voice, more so than his usual tone.

"It was about my mom. You know how I told you about her surgery? I was telling them about it being successful." Jaehyun wrapped his arm around Jungwoo and pulled him close. Jungwoo didn't ask anything after that, he knew the story so he just held Jaehyun close.

_-01:27, February 25th, 2019-_

"Yongie, is Jaehyun okay?" It was now a while after the trio's talk and everyone headed back to their rooms. The dorm was quiet, except for YuTae's room, Yuta was curious about Taeyong's discussion and Taeyong wanted to give him an explanation. One that wouldn't expose Jaehyun's idea.

"Jaehyun is going to surprise Jungwoo and he needs our help. Don't tell anyone, okay?" Yuta sat up a little, hand on Taeyong's chest and Taeyong's arm around Yuta's thin waist. Yuta nodded and leaned down to give Taeyong a sweet peck on the lips before laying back down on his chest. They fell asleep in that position as well as waking up in it, but neither of them minded. 


	8. If Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knows, maybe a little 'surprise' will come in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS! ALSO, THANK YOU FOR 1100 HITS LIKE HOLY SHIT- PLUS I APOLOGIZE THAT THIS ISN'T THE GREATEST, ANYWAYS, ENJOY!  
> HAVE A NICE DAY!

- _February 28th, 2019-_

It was a cold morning, Yuta had just finished vomiting his brains out. Not giving a care in the world about the slamming of fists on the other side of the door, he brushed his teeth and washed his mouth out as much as he could. It took half an hour before Yuta finally opened the door, revealing a troubled Taeyong and Doyoung.

"Jeez, Yuta! What happened?! Are you okay?" Taeyong was quick to ask questions but not before hugging Yuta tightly and stroking his hair ever so gently. Yuta smiled fondly, pulling away slightly to give Taeyong a small peck on the cheek.

"I'm okay, Yongie, it's just food poisoning, " before Taeyong asked if it was his food, Yuta continued his sentence, "and no, it was not your food that got me sick. I went out to eat with Jaehyun yesterday, so no need to question yourself." The look on Taeyong's face made Yuta laugh, but what made it better was Doyoung's weirded out expression.

"You know what, I'm just going to leave you two here and get medicine." Doyoung shook his head and tried to get out of the dorm as fast as he could but was stopped by a particular person with a number as a name.

"Doyoung! Are you going out? I'll come with you! I'm bored, and everyone seems to be busy." Before Doyoung could respond, Ten pulled him out and dragged him to the small convenience store a couple of blocks away.

Taeyong just watched in silence, but only for a little bit since Yuta pulled him back into an embrace. Taeyong smiled and held him tighter, feeling and appreciating every single bit of Yuta. Yuta couldn't help but turn bright red.

"Taeyong, why do you love me?" Yuta asked quietly, mumbling into his clothed shoulder.

Before Yuta could comprehend, Taeyong was carrying bridal-style to the bedroom they shared. He set Yuta down at the edge of the bed and kneeled in front of him. Taeyong grabbed the younger's hand and kissed his hand gently.

"I, Lee Taeyong, love you for multiple reasons. I love the way you smile so brightly that it outshines the sun. I love the way you care for others, the way you treat them as if they're your family. I love the way you laugh. I love how focused you get when you're dancing or singing, and that's not even all of it. I love you for you, and nothing will change that." Taeyong trailed kisses from his hands to up his arms, giving small pecks on each scar, then going to his collarbones, neck, face, and finally, Yuta's lips.

"T-Taeyong..." Yuta was breathless, his eyes filled with tears and doubts wholly thrown away. 

"I know that sometimes you feel alone. I know that sometimes you have these thoughts that you don't want to have. What I'm going to say is that I care and I will always be there for you. When I first met you, I instantly fell in love. Your life makes such a big difference that without you, I don't think how I would function." Taeyong kept rambling on, and all Yuta could do, was smile and cry happily.

At 7:30 AM, Korean Standard Time, Taeyong and Yuta made love for the first time. Soft gasps and moans filled the room, kisses shared, marks made, tears shredded, clothes tossed aside, and beds messed up.

_-16:02, March 2nd, 2019-_

Jaehyun took a deep breath and felt his heart beating a million miles per hour. It was the day Jaehyun was going to ask Jungwoo to marry him. He took out the small velvet box from his pocket, smiling that the ring inside it will soon be on his love's hand.

"Jae! I'm sorry I'm late! Ten wouldn't stop blabbering about Doyoung; it was a bit odd. Anyways, where are we going?" Jungwoo was out of breath, cheeks slightly red from the cold and from running. Jaehyun snuck the box back into his pocket and chuckled.

"Wow, I didn't know Ten would feel that way about Doyoung. Although, I'm not all surprised. But to answer your question, we're going out somewhere far. NCT 127 has a schedule there tomorrow, but I convinced the managers to let us two go early, to practice and whatnot." Jaehyun gave a small smirk, and Jungwoo immediately knew what he meant about 'practice and whatnot.

Jaehyun took Jungwoo's hand and led him to a black car, small but expensive. Jungwoo sat down in the passenger's seat while Jaehyun slid over to the driver's side. The car ride was quiet, but comforting in a way. 

By the time the two got there, it was already 17:49. Jaehyun stopped at a tall building and gave a man dressed in red the car keys. Jungwoo was beyond confused, only wanting to know what was going on.

"Hi, I have reservations for 2;  it's under Jeffery," Jaehyun spoke in a confident tone, lightly scaring Jungwoo. A small old lady nodded and led them to the roof of the building. 

"Yoonoh, what is this?" Jungwoo was speechless by the decor; not only was there a trail of rose petals leading to a small table covered with a black cloth, but a female violinist playing a sweet song.

"It's my surprise to you, my love. My mother had close connections to the owner of the restaurant and allowed me to use the roof, which is rare. Taeyong and Mark came by earlier to set this up." Jaehyun explained, motioning to the table and roses. He took Jungwoo's hand and guided him to a chair with a red cushion in the middle.

"Jaehyun, this is beautiful! I don't even know what to say..." He glanced at the sparkling champaign in the glasses, the delicious food nicely placed on the shiny white plates, and the man sitting right in front of him.

Jaehyun only smiled and held Jungwoo's hands in his, kissing his palm and picking up the glass of champaign. Jungwoo soon followed after, giving a warm look to his lover.

"I would like to give a toast to us, and the spectacular years we've been together. I, Jung Yoonoh, love you so much and would never change a bit if I were to go back in time. You're the kindest and most beautiful person I've ever met, which is why I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So Kim Jungwoo," Jaehyun stopped for a second, pulling out the velvet box from his pocket and going down on one knee, "will you do me the honor and marry me?" Jungwoo nodded furiously and hugged him tightly. What neither of them knew, was that the rest of NCT would be watching them. It was Donghyuck first to break the sweet moment, which caused him a big slap upside the head by Renjun.

"So, when's the wedding?"

"Shut up! They just got engaged!"


	9. A Sky Full of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's not all that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Have a nice day!

"What are you guys doing here?" Jaehyun asked, holding Jungwoo close to him. Jungwoo was crying at this point, not believing that he just got engaged to the love of his life.

"We came to congratulate you!" Donghyuck exclaimed happily. Mark looked at Donghyuck in awe, like the whole world was spinning around him. Taeil noticed this but decided not to say anything. There wasn't much he could tell, anyway.

"Thank you all, did you plan this?" Jungwoo asked, wiping his tears away with a handkerchief. Doyoung laughed, but nodded and smiled fondly at the couple. Ten looked at Doyoung with the same fondly look, but in a more romantic manner.

"How about we let these two alone for a while? We have a heavy schedule, and it's past the kids' curfew." Taeyong ushered the rest of the members before giving the engaged couple a proud smile.

While Taeyong was ushering the rest to the cars, Yuta was happily conversing with Sicheng. Kun couldn't help but look at them with an amused expression. Sicheng was Yuta's best friend and still is. Although, now, it's different. Sicheng hung out with the China line the most and Yuta, well he kept to himself.

"Yuta, I have to say, it's been a long time since I've seen you this happy," Sicheng says, eyes brighter than the bright moon shining on them. "Did you ever realize that in the time you and Taeyong have been together, you finally look at people in the eye and not cry?"

Yuta stayed quiet and started thinking about Sicheng's question. Was it true? Did he do that, but now he doesn't? He didn't know what to say, but he did look up from his hands to glance at the grinning leader.

"Hey, you." Taeyong walked over and slid his arms around Yuta's thin waist. Yuta stared at him, then back at Sicheng before hugging Taeyong tightly.

"Taeyong, is it alright if we talk in private when we get home?" Taeyong nodded at Sicheng's question, confused as can be. Although, right now, all that mattered was the boy wrapped around him.

- _At home-_

It was a couple of hours after the happy engagement. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were snuggling up together, as were Mark and Donghyuck, giggling quietly. Yuta dragged his feet across the dorm and into his and Taeyong's shared bed.

His mind started to swarm with answers so Sicheng's question, wondering if he had fallen for Taeyong that hard. He smiled to himself and buried himself into the soft blankets, inhaling the mixed dent of roses and chamomile.

While Yuta slept, Taeyong sat patiently in the living room, waiting for Sicheng to speak. The boy looked nervous and was visibly shaking so Taeyong reached over and stroked his back soothingly.

"I think Yuta should go to therapy, and I know you're together, so I think if anyone is going to convince him, it's you." Sicheng let out the breath he was holding and looked relieved by his statement. Taeyong sat there for a moment, thinking about what his response should be.

"I'll talk to him about it, but there's no guarantee, Sicheng. We can't force him to do it. I know you're his best friend and you care about his wellbeing, so I'll try, okay?" Sicheng nodded and sniffed before standing up.

"Thank you, Tae. You know, I told Yuta this, but ever since you both started dating, he doesn't cry himself to sleep anymore. I've known him for the longest time, and I always see him with red eyes in the morning. Now, when he wakes up, he looks happy. He even played video games with me the other day!" Taeyong smiled and bit his lip. 

Sicheng waved goodnight to the leader and left to his room, where Kun sat waiting for him. Taeyong finished his hot chocolate and washed the leftover dishes, thinking about his conversation with Sicheng.

Although it seemed as Yuta was getting better, it didn't look like a bad idea to go to a therapist. What could Yuta lose? Taeyong thought it was a good idea but it all came down to what Yuta wanted, he didn't want to force the younger into doing something he isn't comfortable. Even though therapy is never warm at first, with time, it would get better.

Once Taeyong got to his shared room, he saw Yuta curled up in a ball, surrounded by soft and warm comforters. He laid down next to the younger and left small pecks on his cheek before turning in himself.

The day Jaehyun and Jungwoo got engaged was magnificent and exciting. They longed for the future and what it held, especially when they would spend it together. It was also the day Yuta felt like he was okay, not horrible, not great, but okay. He knew that with time and patience, he would learn to love himself completely.

"Taeil, are you asleep." Taeil turned from where he was laying, seeing a giant figure at the opening of his door. It was no other than Seo Youngho, the man who confused his heart to the core of his existence.

"No, come in." Johnny sat down, glasses hanging slightly off his nose and hair messed up in all sorts of ways. Taeil smiled at the sight, scooting over so he could make more room for Johnny to sit snugly. "Is there something bothering you?"

Before Taeil could continue, he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his body. He laid there in shock, not believing what just happened.

"J-Johnny!" Johnny held him tighter, hiding his face in Taeil's neck. At this point, there was nothing that Taeil could do, so he simply stroked his hair and hugged the younger back softly. It became obvious that something happened and he wanted to see Johnny smile again.

-04:30 _, March 3rd, 2019-_

"Okay, everyone! Time to go! We have a packed schedule today!" Despite having a lovely evening, they were still idols and a job to do. Multiple people groaned, wanting to stay in bed but orders were orders.

"It's still dark out, why do we have to be up so early?" Donghyuck whined and pouted, waving his hands around. The sleeves of his hoodie swirled around since it was too big on the tan boy. They smacked Mark's face, causing everyone to burst into laughter and Donghyuck to apologize multiple times in two minutes.

"Hey, guys, look! The sky is so pretty right now," Jungwoo spoke up, pointing at the night sky with the hand that held his engagement ring. It shined brightly and almost blinded a tired Renjun. At that moment, the stars beamed through Seoul and hearts filled with warmth added energy to the boys of NCT.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if you want to co-write!
> 
> Twitter: @universesadrien  
> Cross-posted on Wattpad
> 
> Have a nice day!


End file.
